Monday, August 27, 2012

Don't know if I really should blog or not today.....

.....if you need an uplifting, sweet, encouraging post, then I suggest clicking off of my post today, because it will not be ANY of those things.

I've decided that having a lap band is like being married.  Yep, I'm married to my lap band.  And I was so in the honeymoon stage there for a while.  Right now, we are definitely in the first year of marriage.  Ya know, where you are finally living together and are like, are you really like this for real???  Figuring each other out, likes and dislikes, etc. 

A couple of weeks ago when I was supposed to have a group therapy session at the clinic (remember, it ended up being a one-on-one), my psychologist asked me a question, would I do it again?  With no hesitation, I answered her, YES!  This weekend if she would have asked me, I would have thought a little longer.  My answer would still be yes.  But, man, we are DEFINITELY out of that honeymoon stage and are arguing right now.

I had a VERY unhappy weekend.  Without going into too much of a vent or complaining too much, I had a couple of stuck episodes, yes you read right a couple of them and a PB episode that followed my poor baby girl's birthday party.  Which I didn't get to enjoy as much as I would have liked because I felt like crap.

My hubby had to pull over on the side of the road so I could puke.  Fun.

I will say I did feel much better after, but still, who wants to puke?  Nobody does.

I'm losing weight like no other.  I think I've lost like 5 lbs. in the last week.  I'm down a total of 70 lbs. now.

And well, I know it's not my band's fault.  It's mine.  But, I can still be an irrational woman for a second, feel sorry for myself a second and sad for a second.  We all have those pity party moments and right now, I'm in one.

I told my husband yesterday, for the first time in a LONG time, I miss eating (food addict).  I couldn't even see my poor kid get her favorite present this season from her Nana and Papa (it was in their car because it was a large gift and we were at a restaurant) because I was too busy crying in the car because I was hurting and feeling sorry for myself. 

Will I get over it?  Absolutely!  Is it worth it?  Absolutely!  It's just a brief moment in time.  The difference between now and every other time I've tried to lose weight is that I have this little thing in me that WON'T let me give up!

Thank goodness..........


  1. *HUG* Man, we have all been there. I've had pity parties for myself that I can no longer eat 3 slices of pizza, etc. What a silly thing to be mad about, but it's frustrating!!! I do think it's important to realize what food addiction can be like - I am right there with you.

    I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad weekend, but I hope this week gets better for you!

  2. Hopefully these moments where food is allowed to disrupt your life become fewer and further between. ((HUGS))

  3. Awwww Chickadee... sorry you had a rough weekend. We have all been there... well I know I have. I hope your band settles down for you and the PB's stop. Perhaps an unfill may not be a bad idea if it continues. :(

    Your description is spot on. We are married to our bands. And sometimes it sucks... and sometimes we are over the moon. This will pass. ((hugs))

  4. It's the cycle of life - not every day can be rainbows, right? You're doing great and you will overcome this!