In Tears....

I'm in bed recouping (what else is new, right?). And I'm blogging from my phone.

So, I'm watching a new show from ABC called Splash thinking I'm just going to laugh at these celebrities making idiots out of themselves. Instead, I'm laying here in tears.

Louie Anderson, an American comedian, is on the show. They show the first day of training and how humiliating it was for him at 416 lbs for him not to be able to get himself out of the water. Then 6 weeks later on the show he did a dive off the 7 meter high board.

I took a couple of things away from this. One, I hope to goodness he gets help for his weight. The way he was holding his hands behind his back during the judging reminded me of how I used to hold my hands. So that leads me to number two. I don't ever, EVER want to go back!!!

i know this will always be a road I have to travel. I will always want to eat. I ate cookies already this morning if I'm being honest. But, I have got to remember that not eating the right things and not eating the right portions got me 107.4 lbs heavier than I am right now!!!

I don't ever want to hold my hands like that again......

Pic Post

I haven't been able to re-figure out how to post pics from my phone, until today. So here's a truckload.

#1 - Me on the way to our church's women's Pinterest Christmas party!

#2 - My baby missing a front tooth!!!

#3 - Both my babies dressed up for Christmas Sunday :)

#4 - L and his new DS game.

#5 - M and her new shirt!!

#6 - Merry Christmas from us!!

#7 - My man and our girl :) We are Whovians :)

#8 - M and her dad after she finished her part of a science experiment.

#9 - Silly boy!! Lunch out!

#10 - Crayon mustache :)

#11 - Blue and Gold Banquet. Won a prize :)

#12 - Aren't they beautiful?

#13 - L and I out with Cub Scouts to see Annie.

#14 - Last one, Annie!!

Here's just a few of my fam!!!!!

Recovery

Wow. This has not been fun.

I've been dealing with migraines and pain and ugh. I mean I'm not trying to sound like a baby but wow.

I will say the recovery for this has been quite different that with my band last year. In one sense the band seemed harder. Maybe because they put a piece of hardware in me vs this surgery where they took a diseased part of my body out of me? Who knows. All I know is that I seemed to be up and moving around a lot better last year for the band.

Yesterday I was getting another migraine and I was trying not to take the imitrex 3 days in a row. So I was really pushing myself. I finally just asked my hubby if he would go get me a coffee and a tea and see if the caffeine would help!! It did! Headache gone. He says I'm addicted to caffeine. At this point I couldn't care less. Just glad the headaches are gone!!

My family is off to church this morning to help out with kids church. I'm sad I'm not with them. I know they are going to have a great time.

Very little fluid in my band right now. Don't know when I'll feel up to going n and having t refilled. Right now I'm losing weight. So I'm not overly concerned with it.

Hope all is well in your world! Oh by the way, my pathology report is still out (as far as I know) but my doctor seems to think I had adenomyosis. In case you wanted to look it up.

Happy Sunday and St. Patrick's Day! My boy is wearing a t-shirt that says "This guy is lucky!" and it has two thumbs pointing to himself! Awesome.

TTT

1. I had minor surgery that turned into major surgery.

2. Before said surgery, I had to do a bowel prep. Have you ever had to do one? Me neither. It was not enjoyable. Even those 4.5 lbs I briefly lost.

3. My surgery was done robotically. A few things about this. First, you are tilted on the table with your head lower than your feet. Second, they double up everything on you, IVs, pulse ox and bp cuffs. That way if one shuts down they automatically have a back up. Lastly, they pin your arms down by your side vs out.

4. I went in originally to have laparoscopic surgery and ended up with a hysterectomy. We had talked about it well beforehand, but I was still surprised to hear that's what ended up happening.

5. During my time in recovery, I was in and out of it. I heard my nurse tell me not to scratch at my eyes? Did I listen? Nope. What happened? I scratched my cornea. Sigh.

6. Because the plan wasn't really for me to stay, my doctor forgot to write in orders for me to have my regular meds. The problem with this is that I take migraine preventative meds and if I miss a dose it starts a migraine cycle. Add in the stress of surgery, anesthesia and pain meds themselves and yep, I have had a migraine/headache for two days. She called in an emergency migraine med today that's beginning to help.

7. They put me on the mommy/baby floor. I was fine with that. I'm done having kids. But, I hope they are sensitive to others that might have a harder time with losing their uterus while people around them are giving birth.

8. That being said, someone at the hospital made a mistake and accidentally brought me a diaper bag for new moms. Then she said well you are a mom. Go ahead and keep it. What am I going to do with formula and coupons? Now grant it, the bag doesn't really look like a diaper bag. But still...Luckily, my husband's cousin has a new ADORABLE baby, so we passed it on to them :)

9. My kids seemed thrown off by me not being home. Not horribly just slightly. My 12 year old seem to want to come as close as she could to me yesterday when I got home without touching me necessarily :)

10. Today, I'm very grateful for my God. He protected me during this surgery. It went off flawlessly. I'm at home recovering. My hubby gets to be home with me. Although I'm going to need some help with the kids and help driving me around, I have a wonderful set of parents and in laws to help.

Must Be Getting A Little Freaked Out

I have had a bummer day. The kinda day where you don't get out of bed. M's been watching old Doctor Who episodes with her dad (I love the new stuff, don't really think I'm into watching the old stuff).

L's been video gaming it up today!!An old Wall-E game and the computer.

Me, I've been hanging with Netflix. Trying not to over think this upcoming week. My surgery is Tuesday but have a bunch of prep stuff on Monday.

First is my unfill. I'm not looking forward to the conversation about what I've been eating. I hate disappointing people. Second, I have to do a lovely bowel prep. I'll just leave the details to myself on that.

My surgery is bright and early, well actually, dark and early when we leave. My mother in law is coming to get the kids off and my parents are meeting us at the hospital. It's a robotic procedure. Interesting, huh??

On a fun note, the boy and I had a lovely mommy/son night last night. Cub Scouts were supposed to visit a play and/or musical. One of local high schools was putting on Annie. He cried at the end. He said it was sad but beautiful and he could watch it again and again. Sweet boy!!!!

Sore

Guys, why does my lap band seem so sore so often? I'm sure I'm fine, but still kinda freaked out a bit.

Have an appointment on Monday for my unfill for my surgery on Tuesday. I'm really stressed.

Can you tell?

Frustrated Anyone?

I need encouragement from real life bandsters who after being banded about 9 months in, found themselves slowing down weight loss wise and getting very frustrated. Thus the lack of wanting to post.

And falling back into old ways. Almost feel like I'm failing.

But how could I possibly be failing, I'm still over 100 lbs loss, an amazing accomplishment. My hubby says I'm being too hard on myself. I'm sure I am to an extent, but I want to keep moving forward.

I need new fresh ideas.

Also, I'm having some surgery that could just be simple with a week recovery to up to several weeks recovery. I am having my band unfilled for it. I'm actually not too worried about it because I feel like it may almost "reboot" me and my band. Thoughts on that???

Ok, I would really love a ton of feedback. This girl needs it!!!