Monday, May 18, 2009


Anyone who knows me really well, knows I don't sleep well. A while ago I was diagnosed with slight sleep apnea when I sleep on my back. Well, that doesn't really help me, since I don't sleep on my back. I just constantly dream all night long. Sometimes good dreams, sometimes not so good. But, none the less, my brain doesn't shut off at night.

On Saturday night I stayed up and watched most of SNL. I finally drifted off to sleep around 1ish. Thus began my long night. I had dream on top of dream, mostly not good. I finally woke up around 8:45 am and was exhausted. I decided to go ahead and stay home from church.

Fast forward to this morning. Since I didn't sleep well on Saturday night, I ended up taking a nap on Sunday. Thus began a terrible cycle. I was up until about 3:30 am last night. So, when the alarm went off at 7:30 today, again, exhausted. But, I got up. A little while ago I was laying in bed, again going to nap (don't you just love a good nap?) and a thought flew into my head.

"Christ is coming tonight"......

Now the Bible says no man knows the day nor the hour. But I thought, hmmm. What if we did know He was coming back tonight? Would I really be laying here in bed trying to sleep? No, I would be telling everyone that doesn't have a relationship with Him all about Him.

Let me tell you about Jesus. He is so much more than I can put into words. You know those times in your life when you just don't think you can take anymore, or you cannot handle one more thing. He is the One that comforts me.

When I was in an ambulance racing to the closest hospital thinking that my baby could be dying, did I spend the entire time crying? NO! I was praying. My family was praying. My church was praying. L is alive and well because of prayers to my God!!

I have had a lot of depression in my heart throughout my teenage and early adult years. God is a Healer. He helped me to realize that life is hard, but it isn't as hard as we make it out to be.

He's my forgiver. Am I sinner? YES! We all are. But, by His grace, and His alone, I am forgiven. Have I ever killed someone? No. Have I ever lied? Yes. Sin is sin. God is a great big God! He created the entire universe. Don't you think He can forgive you? Of course He can. He's God. He can do whatever He wants. And trust me, He loves you and wants to forgive your sin.

The Bible tells me that no sin can enter Heaven. That's why I am writing this. If He truly were to come today, would you be with us in Heaven? Being a good person is wonderful. But, just being good won't get you into Heaven. Jesus would never have had to die on the cross if that were the case. We cannot work our way into Heaven. In 2 Timothy 1:9 it says, "who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began".

I love you and want to know that I did everything in my power to tell you about the love of God. He sent His One and Only Son to die for us (John 3:16). That all we need to do is to ask Jesus to forgive your sin, confess that you know that Jesus died and was raised from the dead and believe it in your heart and you will be saved (Romans 10:9).

I don't ever want to think I could have done more to tell you. I want you to know I love you and am fighting for your soul.

I am here for anything. Questions, for you to be angry at me and me still want you to know how much I care for you and your soul. Please don't disregard this. Just think on it.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


You know, when life gets hard it is sometimes hard to remember that it goes so very quickly....

Baby Kayleigh passed away yesterday. I don't know this family personally. But, my heart breaks for them. It has been such a difficult year I am sure for them. They were never allowed to take their baby home from the hospital. Their other two children had only seen their sister once in like an 8 month time period. Hard. Awful. Sad.

I am thankful today for my children. Both of whom can talk, walk, eat, play, smile, laugh. I am going to try today to be more patient. To remember that time goes by so quickly. To make more time to laugh together. To smile. To remember they will not always be this age. I will love listening to them make each other laugh.

I will also be thinking about the Freeman family this week. I pray God's tremendous comfort for them. That only He can give. I will pray for the other two children, who I am sure are confused and sad. But, glad to see mom and dad.

Join me in holding your loved ones a little closer today, because we can.

For those of us that have lost children, remember your hurt and pray for the Freeman's.