5 years ago today.....

Here is what happened 5 years ago (yesterday and today):

Five years ago yesterday it was a Wed. night and I went to the hospital to be observed because my blood pressure was really high. I had an appt. on Thursday for an NST (non-stress test) and to see the dr. at 10 and 10:50 am.

I was hooked up to the NST machine and things were fine. The baby’s heartrate wasn’t doing a whole of lot of reacting when they were moving, but still fine. Then all of a sudden the heartrate drops off. I thought the baby had moved. So, I waited and no one came. You see the NST room is in the back of the office where no one is and I get forgotten about. I tried moving it around and finally decided to go find a nurse asst. She came back in and couldn’t find it. She got another nurse asst. and she couldn’t find it. They got the Doppler, still couldn’t find it.

They take me up front to see the doctor. She gets out the Doppler and can’t find the heartrate. She brings the ultrasound machine into the room and calls the other doctor into the room. Of course by now I am crying. The other doctor came in the room. They were trying to whisper over my head. Then I am not sure if they could find the heartbeat or not, finally they did and began counting. The heartrate what I know now was in the 70’s.

By now they are calling 911. I had to get my cell phone and call P and my mom. P was taking M to the doctors because she was so sick. I had to track him down in the waiting room and to have them tell him to come because they were rushing me to the hospital by ambulance. Then I remembered to call back (even in the midst of craziness) to tell them I wasn’t going to the hospital we had planned on but to the one closest to my doctor’s office.

They called 911. They put me in an ambulance and we had a police escort to the hospital. I found out later that my blod pressure in the ambulance was 200/150.

I got to the hospital at approximately 12:00 pm and our baby BOY was born at 12:10 pm. He was born on Thursday, November 3rd at 12:10 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz. and was 19 inches long. He has a head full of dark hair with natural highlights!

God was there with us that day. He protected L from all the harm that could have come to him. He protected me throughout the surgery and in the ambulence where my blood pressure was extremely high.

That's what happened 5 years ago today.

It's time to quit playing around.....

I posted something on my FB page today. I read of yet another earthquake, this time in Taiwan. When I heard this it draws me back to the Gospels where it speaks of wars, earthquakes....people, we are getting close.

I know those of us that were raised in a Pentecostal environment we have always heard about the Rapture and how it's getting close, but man, I can't help to think we are getting close.

Now mind you God's time is so different than ours, but what if this is it? What if the time on this Earth is wrapping up? Am I sure that God would welcome me into His kingdom?

Often, I know I fall short. Yes, I go to church. Yes, I love God. But, is my life what it should be? No. I don't know. But, see that's the problem. I should know without a doubt.

We all sin. We ALL sin. And, no sin is bigger than another, well, except one. I have such a hard time with that. I know we all do, but God is a black and white God. It either is, or it isn't.

I have so much work on myself to do. I should say, I need God to do so much work in me. My heart feels like it has gotten so hardened. It needs softening. My devotion and prayer time. Oh my goodness, does it need work.

I often feel alone in this walk, like I am the only one who worries am I going to make it? The sad thing is that I had these same thoughts as a teenager and thought once I am a grown up, I will be ok. Geez, I am going to be 35 years old this year, you can't get more grown up than that!

My heart loves the Lord. I am concerned for others, especially family and friends that don't know the Lord. But, I feel like I am short on what I should be.....

Am I alone?