10 Years Ago....Double Digits!!!!

I write this annually to remind us of our story. To remind us of the great big God we serve. And of one amazing boy's story!


Just a warning.....you may want to have tissues readily available before reading this.  It is a little lengthy, but well worth the time to read!

Here is what happened 10 years ago (yesterday and today).

Ten years ago yesterday, it was a Wed. night and I went to the hospital to be observed because my blood pressure was really high. So, since I had an appt. on Thursday for an NST (non-stress test) and to see the dr. at 10 and 10:50 am. they sent me home.

On November 3rd, I was hooked up to the NST machine and things were fine. The baby’s heart rate wasn’t doing a whole of lot of reacting when they were moving, but still fine. Then all of a sudden the heart rate drops off. I thought the baby had moved. So, I waited and no one came. You see the NST room is in the back of the office where no one is and I get forgotten about. I tried moving it around and finally decided to go find a nurse asst. She came back in and couldn’t find it. She got another nurse asst. and she couldn’t find it. They got the Doppler, still couldn’t find it.

They take me up front to see the doctor. She gets out the Doppler and can’t find the heart rate. She brings the ultrasound machine into the room and calls the other doctor into the room. Of course by now I am crying. The other doctor came in the room. They were trying to whisper over my head. Then I am not sure if they could find the heartbeat or not, finally they did and began counting. The heart rate what I know now was in the 70’s.

By now they are calling 911. I had to get my cell phone and call P and my mom. P was taking M to the doctors because she was so sick. I had to track him down in the waiting room and to have them tell him to come because they were rushing me to the hospital by ambulance. Then I remembered to call back (even in the midst of craziness) to tell them I wasn’t going to the hospital we had planned on but to the one closest to my doctor’s office.

They called 911. They put me in an ambulance and we had a police escort to the hospital. I found out later that my blood pressure in the ambulance was 200/150 or 200/100. I've heard conflicting stories. Either way, way too high and in God's protection from a stroke I'm sure!!

I got to the hospital at approximately 12:00 pm and our baby BOY was born at 12:10 pm. He was born on Thursday, November 3rd at 12:10 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz. and was 19 inches long. He has a head full of dark hair with natural highlights!

When the doctor came out to inform P & M the baby had been born, she had hugged M and said you have a beautiful baby brother (we didn't know what we were having), then she hugged P and began to cry and kept saying "I can't get it out". In that moment P thought I had passed away. But, she was just so overwhelmed by the entire events of the day that she had to relieve some of the stress. And we'll, she's a woman too.

God was there with us that day. He protected L from all the harm that could have come to him. He protected me throughout the surgery and in the ambulance where my blood pressure was extremely high.

That's what happened 10 years ago.

Even on the bad days when ASD is in high doses in our house, we can easily recall the events of this day and remember that L could EASILY not be here.  Or he could have cerebral palsy.  Or many other things could have went wrong that day.

L, you are the funniest, smartest, sweetest, cutest boy I know!!  And yes, to quote anything you memorize (lately the Christmas program) but just a little reminder from the Veggie Tales God made you special and He loves you very much.  And so do we!!!

I haven't blogged since November!!!!

Wow!!! Well.....how is everyone? Doing ok here :) I am currently holding steady at 168.6. My body has seemed to settle at this weight. So, I can weigh anywhere between 166 and 170. I know big range. Usually on Fridays I wind up right around 168. But have dropped as low as 166. I usually only see the 170 after the weekend.

Then it's time to get my butt in gear. I was horrible at exercise during my weight loss time. But since (February) I've been trying to get 30 mins 3 times a week of some sort of excersic in. Whether it's walking, Wii Fit or I had been doing the treadmill (not in a while now).

I am at a point where I need to be happy with my body. I have lost approximately 148 lbs. That's a lot! I'm wearing a size 12 and even those tend to big. So, when will an obese brain get on board?

Recently my hubby has been eating better, stopped drinking pop at home and running like a crazy man ;) He's lost I think over 65 pounds!! I'm so proud of him!

So, how to get ok with where I'm at? I'm ok most days, but on the others, what do you do?

9 Years Ago......Tomorrow

I write this annually to remind us of our story. To remind us of the great big God we serve. And of one amazing boy's story! I write it early, because tomorrow may be crazy :) Life :)


Just a warning.....you may want to have tissues readily available before reading this.  It is a little lengthy, but well worth the time to read!

Here is what happened 9 years ago (today and tomorrow): - again pretend you are reading this tomorrow -

Nine years ago today was a Wed. night and I went to the hospital to be observed because my blood pressure was really high. I had an appt. on Thursday for an NST (non-stress test) and to see the dr. at 10 and 10:50 am.

I was hooked up to the NST machine and things were fine. The baby’s heart rate wasn’t doing a whole of lot of reacting when they were moving, but still fine. Then all of a sudden the heart rate drops off. I thought the baby had moved. So, I waited and no one came. You see the NST room is in the back of the office where no one is and I get forgotten about. I tried moving it around and finally decided to go find a nurse asst. She came back in and couldn’t find it. She got another nurse asst. and she couldn’t find it. They got the Doppler, still couldn’t find it.

They take me up front to see the doctor. She gets out the Doppler and can’t find the heart rate. She brings the ultrasound machine into the room and calls the other doctor into the room. Of course by now I am crying. The other doctor came in the room. They were trying to whisper over my head. Then I am not sure if they could find the heartbeat or not, finally they did and began counting. The heart rate what I know now was in the 70’s.

By now they are calling 911. I had to get my cell phone and call P and my mom. P was taking M to the doctors because she was so sick. I had to track him down in the waiting room and to have them tell him to come because they were rushing me to the hospital by ambulance. Then I remembered to call back (even in the midst of craziness) to tell them I wasn’t going to the hospital we had planned on but to the one closest to my doctor’s office.

They called 911. They put me in an ambulance and we had a police escort to the hospital. I found out later that my blood pressure in the ambulance was 200/150 or 200/100. I've heard conflicting stories. Either way, way too high and in God's protection from a stroke I'm sure!!

I got to the hospital at approximately 12:00 pm and our baby BOY was born at 12:10 pm. He was born on Thursday, November 3rd at 12:10 pm. He weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz. and was 19 inches long. He has a head full of dark hair with natural highlights!

When the doctor came out to inform P & M the baby had been born, she had hugged M and said you have a beautiful baby brother (we didn't know what we were having), then she hugged P and began to cry and kept saying "I can't get it out". In that moment P thought I had passed away. But, she was just so overwhelmed by the entire events of the day that she had to relieve some of the stress. And we'll, she's a woman too.

God was there with us that day. He protected L from all the harm that could have come to him. He protected me throughout the surgery and in the ambulance where my blood pressure was extremely high.

That's what happened 9 years ago tomorrow.

Even on the bad days when ASD is in high doses in our house, we can easily recall the events of this day and remember that L could EASILY not be here.  Or he could have cerebral palsy.  Or many other things could have went wrong that day.

L, you are the funniest, smartest, sweetest, cutest boy I know!!  And yes, to quote anything you memorize (lately the Christmas program) but just a little reminder from the Veggie Tales God made you special and He loves you very much.  And so do we!!!

Shame On Me

It had been so long since I posted anything, I'd be surprised if I still had readers :)

Well, I'm maintaining. I am currently trying very hard not to be addicted to the scale anymore and trying to stay around once or twice a week of weighing myself. 

My last weigh in: 165

My pre-surgery weight: 316

Total loss: 151 lbs. 

Due to a sad funeral we had to attend, we got to visit with several old friends and a happy occasion, our niece's grad party family over the last couple of days. I'm finding it difficult to accept compliments and understand the double takes or the "I didn't recognize you" I've been getting. Hard for me to accept for some reason. 

Here are some updated pics of the fam, hopefully I'll give a good update on them soon:

On April 2 we all wore our matching Autism Awareness t-shirts. 

Weigh In

It's been a while since I did a weigh in. A LONG while. Like 2 months. Shame on me. But, can I use the excuse, holidays, surgery, life? Probably not. So let's start with numbers and then I'll tell you what's been going on. 

Last weigh in online: 163

This week's weight: 159.6 (I think)

This week's weight loss: -3.4 lbs

Total weight loss: 156.4 lbs

Now, for some reference as to why my number maybe lower last week and may go up this week. I had surgery 5 weeks ago Friday. Thus I had an unfill 5 weeks ago Thursday. So, Friday of this week I finally had my fill done. I'm probably at 7 cc's total right now. So, I did full liquids Friday and softs on Saturday and Sunday. So my numbers maybe off a bit next time because I've had a few carbs this weekend due to an intestinal issue. 

Ok so weight loss. I'm not going to lie. I'm thrilled. But I still have a fat girl brain. I don't think that's ever going to go away. I'm currently in a size 12 and when I was in a 26/28 I always said if I could just get into a 12 I'd be happy. Hmmmm. Now that I'm here I'd like to be lower. Something's wrong with me :-/. I probably could do 10's in some things but 12's right now. 

Realizing I'm almost half my body weight is a bit ridiculous too. I had an awful dream where I was wearing a skirt with elastic stretched out as far as it could be. I remember that and don't hope to go there again. 

Oh, I do want to say to my blogging buddies. Why did NO ONE warn me that you will have bowel issues after the fact?!  All news to me. So, anyone reading this and learning, yes it is an issue but you will make it through. Yes, I would do it again in a heartbeat!!!!

NSV

I know I haven't blogged in forever. My goal weight for myself was 158. I can't seem to get there. So, I'm trying to be content at 165. I've been as low as 161.2 but I'm staying right around that 165 mark. And lately, I've been so addicted to the scale my husband had to hide it (yet again) from me. 

The clinic's goal was 145. That would put me at "normal" BMI. Ugh. Unless I sweat my bootie off (which I should be, I know) I just don't see that happening. 

So, can I be content? That's where my brain is now. Trying to not get too rillied up when I see that number jump a little because I know I bring it down. 

I had to have a couple of corrections to my hysterectomy 3 weeks ago (minor surgery). So I currently am without fluid in my band. I need to squeeze in the time to go back in now that I'm starting to feel better (see I say that and this morning - not so much). I didn't want my NP pushing on my tummy after the surgery. Plus I kinda want to get back to presurgery weight before going. 

Ok, so onto my newest NSV. Drumroll please...........I unsubscribed to Lane Bryant! I do not need them any longer :)

Before / Now

I hate pics of myself. I'm floating around 165. Today I was 165.6. I've gotten as low as 161.2. I think I need to learn to be content. 

Long Story Short

Yes I gained weight over the Christmas holiday. Yes it freaks me out a bit. But, I can go right back to my daily schedule!

New high, size 12 pants! A lot different than the size 28 I started with ;)

Friday Weight Loss

Friday Weigh In

Weight Loss

Last weigh in: 163

This week's weight: 163

This week's weight loss: 0 lb

Total weight loss: 153 lbs

5 more lbs and I'll be at 50% weight loss!!! I can still say that!!!

Life With a Special Needs Child

God is good. This is why. When you have a special needs child, life is different. But, sometimes you forget that your life is different. For example, yesterday L was making a whole bunch of crazy, silly noises. Not unusual for him. It's not all the time but happens most often when he's playing hard at home. But, for some reason, maybe because I was in the middle of making over 4 dozen cookies and a pan of magic bars it caught my attention (it doesn't always) and well, sometimes quite frankly, it's annoying. And to be brutly truthful, we do not live in an ASD (Austim Spectrum Disorder) world. So, I do feel it's our responsibility to train him up in the way he should go, both Biblically and emotionally as much as I an possibly do. So, I tell him, "L, stop. That's annoying." And he does. For a minute. And then well, it tends to blend into my psyche and I don't hear it. 

Last week we had leaps and bounds of a major breakthrough with him. Our children's Christmas program at church. Our kids do two services. One at 9 am and again at 11 am. Well, we decided what would be best for him, would be one show. 11 am. We had seats as close to the stage as possible, in case he needed to be walked away quickly. The reason why this was such a breakthrough was not long ago, 6 months maybe, his end of the year concert at school he was all over the place. I was sitting in my seat crying on the inside wondering why in the world neither his gen ed or especially his ASD teacher were doing anything. So, mama bear rose up in me. I got out of my seat, walked in front of a crowd of at least 100 people and stood their with my child. Holding his hand. His shoulders. Reminding him to stand still. Trying to get him to participate with his neurotypical peers. Finally on the last song, he did. 

Fast forward 6 months to last week, L stood on stage by himself, with only the occasional rub on the back reminders from one of the (awesome) adult actors on stage to turn around. He hammed it up. Waving to people. Giving thumbs up to his dad. He sang every song. Stood when he was supposed to. Sat when he was supposed to. 

Then what came after I was not prepared for. The comments from adults. A good friend said her husband leaned over and said "hey L is up there". My baby blended in with NT friends. For a special needs mom, this is HUGE. Our children's pastor's wife, with tears in her eyes, said she didn't know who she enjoyed watching more, L or us watching L. 

Compliments on from all of our friends only encourages me to continue to fight for him and be his advocate. Because I know HE CAN DO IT!!! He's shown us he can!!!

Our church, what a blessing. I'm so thankful for the time and sheer energy they put into him. I hope we are doing the same by pouring into their kids when we work our weeks in kidmin. 

So to all of you that had compliments, thank you. It drives me to keep pushing him. Keep pushing through red tape when it happens. Keep pushing for things he deserves and needs. He is constantly getting better with time. And most of all, with God's Hand!!!